💥 Why Women Struggle with Financial Self-Trust 🐚

Hey Gorgeous ✨

Let's talk about something that's been on my mind lately – why so many fabulous women struggle to trust themselves when it comes to their money decisions.

After four decades in finance and coaching hundreds of women, I've noticed some patterns that might sound familiar. Maybe you'll recognise yourself here?

The "I Should Know This" Trap

First up – that nagging voice that whispers, "I should know how to handle money by now." Sound familiar? You're amazing at managing your household, your career, maybe even other people's lives. But when it comes to your own financial decisions, suddenly you're second-guessing everything.

Financial literacy isn't something we're born with or automatically learn. It's a skill, just like learning to drive or cook. And just like those skills, it takes practice and patience with yourself. But maybe it is more than just financial knowledge? 

Sabotaging, Negative, Limiting beliefs

These are often the foundation underneath all the boundary and self-trust issues.

You know the ones I'm talking about:

·         "I'm not good enough"

·         "Wealthy people are different from me"

·         "I don't deserve to be financially secure"

·         "Not available to me"

These beliefs are so insidious because they feel so true. But here's what I've learned, these beliefs are always outdated. They are old subconcious programming that had a purpose once but they no longer serve you.

When you don't believe you're worthy or not good enough, of course you're going to sabotage your financial decisions! Why would you trust yourself to make good money choices if part of you believes you don't deserve good outcomes?

The amazing thing? Once you start recognising them for what they are – just old, outdated beliefs, you can change them.  And that's when the real fun begins! 🐚 

When Boundaries Get Blurry 

Have you ever felt disappointed with yourself?  That moment when you make a financial decision you know isn't right for you, and then you're disappointed in yourself for not listening to what your gut is telling you.

Here’s the thing about boundaries – or the lack thereof.

I know this intimately because I've been there. In my life, I completely supported two men financially, and another one stole substantial money from me. Talk about an unhealthy money relationship, not to mention a huge wake-up call!  My curiosity stepped in and the journey to change began.  You see, when you rewire your inner world to feel worthy and deserving of everything that comes to you, the outer world begins to reflect that back. 💥

Self-Trust Barriers

Constant second-guessing creates a cycle where we stop trusting our own instincts. Every time we ignore that inner voice, we're essentially telling ourselves our judgment doesn't count.

Outsourcing authority, many women have been conditioned to hand over financial control to partners, family, or "experts".  When you're not part of the process or don't understand the choices being made with your money, it's hard to develop trust in your own financial judgment.

The mistake that won't let go. If you've made a financial decision that didn't work out - a bad investment, overspending, or supporting someone who took advantage, it can deeply shake your confidence for years afterward.

Living someone else's money goals because there is no clear sense of what matters to you financially. It's easy to adopt other people's priorities. When we don't have clear money boundaries, we lose trust in our ability to make good decisions. Why? Because deep down, we know we're not honouring our own financial well-being.

The Responsibility Factor

Here's where it gets interesting – and maybe a little uncomfortable.

Many women I work with have developed a pattern of avoiding financial responsibility. Not because they're lazy or incapable, but often because:

       👉Someone else has always handled the "money stuff."

    👉Too busy to pay attention and deal with the issue.

    👉Past mistakes feel too scary to face again.

        👉It feels overwhelming, so avoidance seems easier.

Limiting beliefs → poor boundaries → avoiding responsibility → lack of self-trust.      It all connects!

But here's the fantastic news: taking responsibility is actually the first step to building self-trust with money!

Money Dynamics in Relationships

Let's talk about a potential elephant in the room – financial power in relationships.

When one person controls the purse strings, it creates an imbalance that goes way beyond money. I've seen women who are powerhouses in their careers become completely passive about household finances.

Some patterns to watch for:

ü  Not knowing where accounts are or how much is in them.

ü  Asking permission for normal purchases.

ü  Feeling like you have to justify every expense.

ü  Having no idea what your family's financial picture actually looks like.

This isn't just about money – it's about having a voice in your own life.

Recognising the Patterns 

Curious about your own patterns? Here are some questions worth exploring:

Around self-trust:

ü Do you research things to death but still feel uncertain?

ü Do you ask everyone else's opinion before making financial decisions? 

ü Do you second-guess yourself after every money choice?

Around boundaries:

🐚Do you have trouble saying no to financial requests?

🐚Do you feel you let yourself down when it comes to money?

🐚Do you feel guilty about protecting your own financial interests?

Around responsibility:

ü Do you avoid looking at bank statements or investment/super accounts?

ü Do you put off important financial decisions?

ü Do you blame external circumstances for your financial situation?

The Path Forward is Definitely Doable

Building financial self-trust is totally achievable, and it starts with small steps.

Begin by getting curious about your money relationship. Are there money patterns showing up?  No judgments just curiosity. Notice when you feel confident with money decisions and when you don't. What's different about those situations?

Start setting tiny boundaries. Maybe it's saying no to that friend who always "forgets" to pay you back. Or having one honest conversation with your partner about money.

Take one small step toward financial responsibility each week. Check your account balance. Read one article about investing. Ask one question about your retirement fund.

You've Got This!

Remember, gorgeous you're not broken, and you're definitely not alone in this. Every woman I've worked with has had to learn to trust herself with money. Some started at 25, others at 65. The best time to start building financial self-trust? Right now!!

Your relationship with money doesn't have to stay the same. With a little curiosity, some healthy boundaries, and a willingness to take responsibility, you can absolutely become the confident, competent, in-control woman you're meant to be with your finances.

After all, financial freedom is really about having choices. And don't you deserve to create your own fabulous, fantastic future? Remember, it is your money and your future.

Want to dive deeper into building your money confidence? My Money Makeover Course combines Mindset [Money EQ], Financial Literacy [Money IQ], and reframing those yukky Money Blocks.