Money Blocks: How to Flip What’s Holding You Back 🙌

August 15, 2025

What Did You Hear About Money Growing Up?

Think back to your early years.

As a child, what did you hear about money?

Maybe your parents argued over it.

Maybe you heard, “We can’t afford that” on repeat, until it became a mantra of scarcity.

Perhaps it was whispered about in hushed tones, or never spoken about at all.

Their consistent behaviour around money set up the pattern.

These are the three I heard regularly :

· “Rich people are greedy.”

· “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”

· “You have to work hard for every dollar.”

Growing up in a migrant family that came to Australia with absolutely nothing, I deeply understand these mantras but as an adult, I’ve chosen not to be defined by them.

As children, we absorb these messages without question. We internalise them, and they become our money beliefs. These beliefs shape how we spend, save, avoid, or fear money often without us even realising it.

And unless we become curious and examine those beliefs, they stay with us, quietly influencing our decisions well into adulthood.

In financial therapy, we call these messages money scripts. They are unconscious patterns that drive our financial behaviour. And when they go unchallenged and unattended, they turn into blocks. Invisible walls between us and the financial security, freedom, or peace we long for.

But here’s the good news…

These blocks can be flipped.

Not overnight. Not with shame or blame. But gently with awareness, support, allowing time for integration, creating a new story for ourselves.

In this article, I’ll walk you through three of the most common money blocks I see in my practice and how to shift them to create a healthier, more empowered relationship with money. Let’s get started.

On the financial roundabout?

The experience:
You are earning well, working hard, but somehow there’s nothing left at the end of the month. You’re not extravagant, your spending just keeps pace with your income or not!!

The more you earn, the more you spend, the more life seems to cost.

Here are the core emotional origins that drive this cycle:

1. Seeking Emotional Relief or Comfort

“I’ve worked so hard — I deserve this.”
Spending becomes a way to soothe stress, loneliness, or exhaustion. It feels like a reward, a treat, or a way to momentarily feel in control, especially after giving so much to others. I’m not suggesting we don’t deserve treats, yes we do. The question is, what's motivating the spending.

2. Filling an Inner Void

“If I have the right clothes, car, or home, I’ll feel better about myself.”
Many women spend to boost self-worth or feel "good enough." Like many forms of addiction, shopping becomes a substitute for love, acceptance, or self-worth, especially if those were missing in early life.

3. Fear of Deprivation

“I might not get another chance.”
Spending now can feel urgent, even compulsive. If someone grew up with financial scarcity or restriction. The emotional imprint of going without can create a “get it while you can” mentality, even when income increases.

4. Keeping Up Appearances

“I don’t want anyone to know I’m struggling.”
The pressure to look successful — in lifestyle, clothing, home, etc leads many women to overspend to maintain a certain image, even if it’s not financially sustainable.

5. Difficulty Saying No (People-Pleasing)

“I’ll just pay for it, it’s easier.”
Spending on others (children, family, friends) can be a way to feel loved, needed, or to avoid guilt. Generosity becomes a form of emotional currency, even when it drains resources.

6. Belief That Money Is Meant to Be Spent

“Money comes in to go out.”
Some women inherit the unconscious belief that money isn’t meant to be kept, saved, or grown. This can stem from childhood, culture, or family norms. It leads to spending everything, regardless of income.

7. Avoidance of Financial Responsibility

“I don’t want to think about it.”
Spending can feel easier than sitting with the discomfort of budgeting, saving, or investing, especially if there’s shame or confusion around money. It’s a way to escape.

Insight

When women find themselves stuck on the Financial Roundabout — earning, spending, and starting over month after month, it’s rarely about numbers. It’s about unmet emotional needs, inherited beliefs, and protective patterns that were once necessary for survival.

We can Flip it:

Together, we gently explore whether money is being used to regulate emotions perhaps as a way to soothe stress, reward effort, or avoid discomfort. Often, spending provides a sense of control when other parts of life feel uncertain or overwhelming. This isn’t about blame it’s about understanding. Together, we uncover the deeper story beneath the pattern. We bring compassion to the part of you that’s been doing her best. And we gently create space for something new: confidence, clarity, and choice.

Because the real destination is not just financial security - it’s emotional freedom around money.

Finding it difficult to make a financial decision?

The experience:
You’ve got money sitting in the bank perhaps from an inheritance, divorce, house sale, or years of saving but every time you try to make a move to invest, seek advice, spend wisely, you freeze.

Here are the core emotional origins that often drive the freeze response around financial decision-making:

1. Fear of Making a Mistake

“If I get it wrong, I’ll lose everything.”
This fear is often rooted in a childhood experience where mistakes were met with punishment, criticism, or rejection that felt overwhelming for that little kid. Financial decisions become emotionally loaded because it's not about money, but about self trust and self-worth.

2. Lack of Trust in Self

“I’m not good with money.”
This is often an internalised belief developed over decades, especially if others (parents, partners, professionals) made the financial decisions in the past. It creates a sense of helplessness or learned dependency, even in highly competent women.

3. Trauma or Loss Around Money

“Last time I trusted someone, I got burned.”
I understand this deeply. Over the years, I financially supported two partners and had another who stole from me; money, belongings, and trust. These experiences left emotional and financial bruises. But they also taught me to listen to my intuition, value my boundaries, and build financial independence on my own terms.

This isn’t about blame or shame. It’s about recognising how past wounds can quietly shape our present-day money choices and gently doing the inner work to flip them.

4. Guilt or Unworthiness

“Do I even deserve this money?”
Inheritances, divorce settlements, or windfalls can bring up complex emotions. If the money came from loss, hardship, or someone else’s suffering, it may feel “wrong” to use it freely. The freeze response reflects this inner conflict.

5. Perfectionism and All-or-Nothing Thinking

“I need to make the perfect choice.”
Over analysing motivated by ‘perfectionism’ creates decision paralysis. Instead of starting small, the mind demands total certainty which rarely exists in life, let alone with money. This leads to analysis paralysis, where fear blocks all movement.

This may come from a past mistake, or from being raised in a household where you weren’t encouraged to take financial responsibility. You may have been told, “You’re not good with money,” or simply never taught how to decide.

Insight

Indecision is often a trauma response—not just to what happened, but to what should have happened and didn’t. After experiences like betrayal, neglect, or financial loss, it’s common to form protective beliefs:

“I can’t trust myself.” “I always get it wrong.” “It’s safer not to decide.”

These beliefs are a form of self-protection but they can also keep us frozen.

In financial therapy, we don’t force decisions. Instead, we create space for curiosity. We gently ask: What feels possible now? What would it be like to make choices from hope, not fear? From self-kindness, not self-doubt?

We can Flip it:

Start with small, low-stakes decisions to build confidence.
Use journaling prompts like: “What would I decide if I trusted myself fully?”
Let go of the myth that there is only one “right” financial decision and embrace progress over perfection.

Too busy to think about money?

The experience:

You’re juggling work, home, and life. Sitting down to look at your finances feels like just another exhausting task. You keep putting it off, it keeps slipping down the list. I get it.

But deep down, you know it matters.

What’s really going on underneath “I’m too busy to think about money?”

I often see that this isn’t just about time, it’s about emotional weight and mental bandwidth. Here are some of the deeper reasons behind the busyness:

1. Avoiding discomfort

Staying busy helps you avoid the feelings that might come up; anxiety, shame, confusion, or fear. Not looking feels easier, safer, even protective.

2. Feeling overwhelmed or unsure where to start

If you were never shown how to manage money, it can feel too big or too hard to face. So it’s easier to keep moving and keep pushing it aside.

3. Believing you’re not good with money

Many women carry a quiet belief that money is something other people understand. This creates a sense of inadequacy that keeps them stuck.

[NB – Julys’ Newsletter is titled ‘What are the Obstacles for Women and Investing.’ If you don’t receive my newsletters but would like to read this article, email me on hello@janmorrison.com.au for some powerful insights]

4. Putting everyone else first

You are capable, competent, and always there for others but your own financial wellbeing is non-existent. Over time, this becomes a pattern that ranges from self-neglect to self-sabotage.

5. Fear of what Being Responsible means

Deep down, you may fear that once you look, taking control might mean you’ll have to make changes. Say no more…I could hear your heart racing from here. Or, set boundaries. Or admit something’s not working. That can feel so big and overwhelming that staying busy feels safer.

Insight
This is often a survival pattern. If you grew up in a home where money was stressful, avoided, or shameful, it makes sense that your nervous system would steer away from it now. Avoidance is self-protection until it becomes self-sabotage. We bring compassion to the part of you that’s overwhelmed. We explore the why underneath the avoidance, and begin to untangle the belief that you’re not capable or that it’s “just too hard.”

We can Flip it: